Okay, so I created a blog – and then I did absolutely nothing further with it.
Actually, since I made that first (yes, and only) post I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want with this blog. From it. What are my intentions and also, what are my options. I have not reached any conclusion yet and that may seem rather lazy of me – or at least not very serious.
But to my own defense, only two days after creating this blog something potentially life changing happened.
Unwinding to a few weeks back; I was dealing with one of those existential crisis that are so fun, very much aware that the way I had organized my life, was no longer satisfying. In all honesty, organizing my life has always been a challenge as I simply fail to understand how everyone else are able to accept that 9-5 work structure but I still haven’t managed to succeed in any alternative. Anyways, no need to dwell on my issues, I will find a solution, it’s a question of simple planning. Right? It was just to say that a crisis was going on. At the same time as my unravelling (already I’m sick of the word ‘crisis’ – it’s hereby forbidden) I was trying to plan a trip to Hawaii. I had lived there for 6 months in 2010 and had been wanting to return pretty much from the day I set foot back in my own country. But for numerous reasons, it hadn’t been possible (or not prioritized properly) and so now I was determined to finally make it happen. It seemed I was working uphill though and more and more I got the feeling that I had missed my window. What a dreadful feeling.
Now, something unexpected was going on. While Hawaii slowly got blurrier, another country stepped into focus. It started as a discreet wave in the periphery of my attention. You know, like a person who wants to get in contact with you but isn’t comfortable with just shouting your name across the street. A discreet but persistent wave. “Hi…” “Hello..?” It’s not that I didn’t notice it. It’s more that I’m used to my mind wandering, picking up everything on the way, forming ideas, creating magical possibilities all over the place – and that’s great most of the time but in my current situation I was trying to put everything down, to simplify. So I ignored India. “Yes, you look amazing and under different circumstances we could have a lot of fun but right now I’m trying to be serious. I have issues I need to solve and I don’t have time to play with you. Sorry.”
Over the next couple of days India stepped up its game. I was contacted by people from India who wanted to meet (being contacted by strangers is not necessarily a weird thing since I’m a member of CouchSurfing (look it up, I’m in the middle of my story here)) and was confronted with both topics in the media as well as random conversations, all including India one way or another. I then started paying attention.
The complete stranger that I mentioned in my first post, was a lovely Canadian CouchSurfer that I was hosting. Her name is Jenna. From the time I read her first email, I knew that of course we had to meet. From the time she stepped foot in my apartment, she was a great friend. And only a few hours later and a couple of simple and well-chosen questions from Jenna, India had stepped right in front of me, no longer possible to ignore. What a surprise.
So now, all caught up to present time, I’m going to India. Leaving in less than three weeks for seven weeks of travelling alone. Excited and scared all at the same time, I’m researching as much as possible – so no wonder I haven’t had time to blog. But I didn’t want to let my blog wither in its beginning phase, it would be too sad.
So figuring out intention and direction and all that will have to wait a bit more – I guess reality took a turn and took over and made me participate instead of ponder. Not a bad thing.