Facing the challenges of letting go of the past while being immersed in Buddhist wisdom naturally inspires some elaborate thinking..
Why are we holding on – and what exactly is it we’re holding on to? To the illusion of belonging somewhere or with someone? To a false sense of identity? To some pseudo security in our own ability to control anything? Well, all of the above probably.
But doesn’t it seem just a bit silly when we know (at least if we really think about it and are honest to ourselves) that it’s pointless, that it brings us only stress and sorrows and that it stands in our way of true freedom? Yes, that was a rhetorical question because the answer is obviously “DUH!”
So why is it so freaking hard?! I mean, everything is changing all the time. And so it should. Imagine a world gone completely stale and moldy and, even worse, predictable. Yuck!
So better learn to embrace change, to be safe in change.
I’m actually not a complete beginner in this area but still the layers keep peeling and the complexity of the challenge increases and I find myself trying harder. To comprehend and integrate. Reassess and proceed.
Okay, so how does it work.. Like, really work… I guess first of all, I need more self observance. And then every time I notice attachment, I let go. Easy, right? Apparently, not really. I’ve come to the realization that I need to dig deeper, to get to the bottom of this letting go business. Not just mentally understand it or grasp the general idea of it. I’m talking about fully embracing the nature of impermanence.
I feel pretty certain that this task is not something I’ll be able to complete rapidly and I also suspect that I would do better with a teacher.. I must admit, right now I have a strong urge to shave my head and join the nunnery, fully commit to the process. I’ll start with the less extreme approach though and see how that goes.
And so I’m contemplating impermanence.