Missing People

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Honestly, it is a little too much and I feel overwhelmed. For a while now, my life has been rearranging itself. I’m all for that and most of the time I feel incredibly grateful. I got a new job at a place I have been wanting to work at for a long time and in just a few weeks my apartment will be inhabited by only me, which is going to be another great improvement. Also, I’m going back to school for my Masters and looking forward to hopefully spending the winter floating around the Pacific. I have nothing at all to bitch about.

Still I feel sad.

The reason for that is that all this rearranging has swept through the relationships of my life as well. It is perfectly natural, I know that and would choose moving forward over life support any day. It can just be a little overwhelming when everything seems to happen at the same time. A couple of very important people are no longer in my life. They were important for different reasons just as they are now missing for different reasons. There has been no drama, no slamming doors – just a series of realizing that we seemed to have come to the end. I wish it could have been different, that we could have walked through life together just a little further but it became quite obvious that we probably couldn’t.

Until now, I have focused on trusting my path, trying to keep faith in that the bigger picture will reveal itself at some point. Following my heart, I know it is all good. I know that this too shall pass.

I just wish I didn’t feel so damn lonely.

It’s not like I’m literally all alone now, I have great friends and a wonderful family – but the solitude of this incarnation has become a little more noticeable.

I guess it’s an existential condition, maybe one day I will get used to it.

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20 thoughts on “Missing People

    Kyle said:
    April 23, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    you have hit the nail right on the head here. it is existential. wow what a clever and insightful post

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      realityinprogress responded:
      April 23, 2012 at 9:10 pm

      Thanks a lot, Kyle. The joy of being a living being I guess.

      Like

    Nowan Zen said:
    April 23, 2012 at 8:17 pm

    Surviving the changes can be overwhelming. It can feel like everything caught in a whirlwind and you’re just wanting to grab onto something until the dust settles. Change, although it’s for the best, really does suck sometimes.

    If you want to talk, inbox me.

    Like

      realityinprogress responded:
      April 23, 2012 at 9:29 pm

      The eternal paradox of change, right.. Thank you for your valuable kindness :)

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        Nowan Zen said:
        April 23, 2012 at 9:32 pm

        The water changes the shoreline over time, so too must our lives change. If you want to talk, let’s talk.

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          realityinprogress responded:
          April 23, 2012 at 9:46 pm

          Yea and I guess no one promised it would be easy – so I will suck it up, put on my happy face and dance through it. Let’s boogie.

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            Nowan Zen said:
            April 23, 2012 at 9:51 pm

            No need to wear a masque when dancing. Life is not a masquerade.

            I would love to dance with you!

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              realityinprogress responded:
              April 23, 2012 at 10:41 pm

              Hehe by happy face I just mean look at the positives. I do a pretty impressive grim and sour but ret to reserve it for when life really sucks.

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    Erin, Bella Bleue said:
    April 23, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    Thanks for your sharing. Life certainly does play games with us and how we feel. I know too well that feeling of, “Yeah, I know this is a part of life and it will all teach me something one day…but, right now it is not what I want to be going through at all…” I also know what you mean about being alone, and yet there are so many who care…sometimes, the depths of who we are are just too deep to connect to anyone or anything…and it can be lonely.
    Go easy on yourself, or as I like to tell myself, Be gentle–with you.
    Thinking of you and sending blessings around you and for you, Erin, Bella Bleue

    Like

      realityinprogress responded:
      April 23, 2012 at 10:33 pm

      Erin, you are exactly right and it is good to be reminded that most of us feel like this from time to time. Thank you for your wise and caring comment, it really means a lot.

      Like

    jensine said:
    April 23, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    Missing people is hard but as long as we don’t forget them a part of them is always there :-) … big hug

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      realityinprogress responded:
      April 23, 2012 at 11:06 pm

      Thank you :)
      Most of the time that is definitely comforting – and then sometimes it really would be easier if I could just forget they ever existed.

      Like

        jensine said:
        April 23, 2012 at 11:10 pm

        I know but sometimes the time spent with them leaves gifts of knowledge, feelings and memories behind with which we would not want to be without

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    […] See related post by Reality In Progress […]

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    KG (@besidesthis) said:
    April 24, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    sometimes being/feeling alone makes you sad, sometimes it’s good to charging energy…but at all I think after a periode of loneliness you will appreciate the time together even more!
    a song about loneliness: (why is lisa so alone?)
    listen closely to the lyrics: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXMHTq4OAf0
    (seven is a swiss artist;)
    PS: love you for sharing your thoughts with us…:) K.

    Like

      realityinprogress responded:
      April 24, 2012 at 5:47 pm

      That’s so true – if only we were always able to get the timing right.
      Thank you for the song, it is beautiful :)
      Sending you love, C.

      Like

    lydiaa5656 said:
    May 19, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    O yes, ” Missing people ” tell me about. It is one of those things that becomes intermingle on this journey of life. The irony is that in this there are worthwhile treasurer that brings a great measure of value.

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      realityinprogress responded:
      May 20, 2012 at 4:55 pm

      That is very true. To get the good stuff, usually we have to accept just a bit of the less good as well. I can live with that..
      Thank you for following my blog and commenting – I’m grateful for that :)

      Like

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