so you look around and you see nothing but bright promise. challenges, sure, but meaningful and constructive and most of all, excitingly acceptable. so very warm and safe and wonderful. so you look around again. you’re looking for the crack. you know, that dark crack. the place where all the other stuff is coming from, the scary stuff. the stuff that will make you crawl through an endless night, hopefully, emerging brighter than before. it’s tiny but you find it. curiously moving closer. listening for something calling you. it appears bigger now. a mesmerizing vortex of damage. and so, you jump in.
you, my darkness, i want to know you. i want to feel everything about you. i want to put you on and wear you with the same ease as i wear my skin. i want to make you familiar. intimately dig through your confused mud. taste the regret dripping from your ignorant body. feel the pain you breathe into mine. i want to lose myself in the universe that surrounds you, call out for help and never be heard. i want to find you in your cradle. and then, i want to whisper comfort in your ear.
i want to love you. and not be scared of you. and not run away from you.
and finally, i will open that crack and invite you into my world. and make you shine. and make you, me.