lost in a loop
a cycle of heartache
this vulnerable creation
supported by illusion
this mind obsessing
burning away a decision
how much longer
this combat of a dreamer
time for a new adventure
time to step into the flow
accepting this weakness
“You see things and you say; ‘Why?’ I dream things that never were and I say; ‘Why not?'”
~ George Bernard Shaw
it’s not that it can’t be done
you just haven’t found the way to do it yet
so your heart got burned and your ego got bruised apparently all there is left is an imperfect past and a pseudo friendship and silence are you really that clueless? or just an ass.. not my problem but still affected not my life but still distracted not my love but still hurt not your concern not my choice
Getting out of bed this morning was a challenge. Not because I partied last night or had a hot man lying next to me – but because last night I decided to try something completely new. I went to my very first Crossfit class.
Now, I love yoga, I like running and I bike almost every day because that is by far the most convenient way to get around Copenhagen, not to mention absolutely lovely in the summer breeze. But going to a gym, lifting weights, running the treadmill and doing classes has never really been my thing. I’ve signed up plenty of times and stayed with it for a while but it always fizzles out. However, for the past few months I’ve had the urge to get more physical and in my new job I really need to be as fit as possible – so I was thinking, why not try something different?
The place was an old factory, still a work in progress and very… let’s say rustic. It was messy, a little dirty and kind of stinky – I immediately liked it. Okay, I admit that when I was standing around waiting for the previous class to finish, witnessing people clearly in pain, screaming out curses while literally dripping sweat on the floor, I was considering to make a run for it.
The warmup was a series of different jumps and push ups – I think already here I realized exactly how out of shape I am. After that followed almost an hour of the weirdest exercises I have ever tried. We were swinging kettlebells, using a giant hammer and throwing oversize (and over heavy) balls across the room and jumping up and down big wooden boxes. There were five ‘stations’ with different exercises, we got one minute at each and then switch to the next and by the end of the round a one minute break. Brutal! I was the color of beetroot, moaning, sweating, panting and on the verge of simply barfing up my lungs. If it hadn’t been for my stubbornness along with the
mean drill sergeant hot motivator screaming out his enthusiastic support, I would have given up. And still, in the middle of the excruciating pain, I loved it. My body was fighting for its life alive and afterwards the most amazing calm settled in every cell. Well, calm and pain that is.
It turns out that my legs are doing pretty good, I guess because of all the biking. But my arms, ugh! Let’s just say that biking home was risky since I no longer had any real control over my arms and therefore wasn’t able to steer properly. At home, I spent half an hour on my yoga matt stretching and moaning out more pain and the whole shower-cooking routine was a strenuous mountain of wobble. Several times I just had to laugh out loud because of my patheticness.
So, today I’m in pain. Not as much as expected but still enough to be convinced that at least my upper body needs more whipping into shape. I’m going to stick with this for the next month and then we’ll see.
Trying new things is one of the most important aspects of my life. Travelling is definitely the ultimate adventure for me but since that is not possible all the time, bringing the adventure into my everyday life is what keeps me motivated and inspired – and now fit as well.
Honestly, it is a little too much and I feel overwhelmed. For a while now, my life has been rearranging itself. I’m all for that and most of the time I feel incredibly grateful. I got a new job at a place I have been wanting to work at for a long time and in just a few weeks my apartment will be inhabited by only me, which is going to be another great improvement. Also, I’m going back to school for my Masters and looking forward to hopefully spending the winter floating around the Pacific. I have nothing at all to bitch about.
Still I feel sad.
The reason for that is that all this rearranging has swept through the relationships of my life as well. It is perfectly natural, I know that and would choose moving forward over life support any day. It can just be a little overwhelming when everything seems to happen at the same time. A couple of very important people are no longer in my life. They were important for different reasons just as they are now missing for different reasons. There has been no drama, no slamming doors – just a series of realizing that we seemed to have come to the end. I wish it could have been different, that we could have walked through life together just a little further but it became quite obvious that we probably couldn’t.
Until now, I have focused on trusting my path, trying to keep faith in that the bigger picture will reveal itself at some point. Following my heart, I know it is all good. I know that this too shall pass.
I just wish I didn’t feel so damn lonely.
It’s not like I’m literally all alone now, I have great friends and a wonderful family – but the solitude of this incarnation has become a little more noticeable.
I guess it’s an existential condition, maybe one day I will get used to it.
Hello.. Hello.. Is this thing on?
Welcome to another round of Flaaaaassh Fictiioooon Challeeeeeeeenge!! I know, I got carried away..
This week I hope more people will join the fun of squeezing a story – even if you have never tried this before, just throw yourself into it and see what weirdness might come out on the other side.
Whatever you come up with, post it on your own blog as well as in the comment section here by Thursday 5th (considering the zones of the whole world, this is a pretty stretched deadline) and then I will put them all in one post on Friday.
Will we then create a poll do decide a winner, just pick someone random to choose the next challenge or sit down in a hippie-style circle and agree that we are all very good..? I don’t know. First of all, let’s just focus on writing and then we will see, mkay..
To the prompt:
Topic – A Misunderstanding
Word count – 214
Mood – Hecticity
Genre – Comedy
Please, do participate and make others do the same – last week was really fun and it would be even more fun if even more people would join. Seriously!
Good luck or have fun or break a leg – whatever you fancy writers say ;)